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So You Call Yourself A Queen?

The word Queen has been being thrown around a lot recently. "You are a Queen! You don't deserve that!", "I see you Queen!", "Queens recognize Queens". If you haven't heard of one of these phrases, I'm sure you heard of something similar. What do we mean when we say Queen?

Does it mean that our ancestors where royal so natural succession would on be right? Does it mean that you are great a bossing other people around? Or does it speak of your state of mind?

I believe that being a Queen is about how you feel, how you treat others and you acts of kindness throughout one's life.

I believe that a Queen understands her true essence. She understands her role as a leader, a role model, a nurturer. She's a ruler and a monarch with the power to make all the decisions in her kingdom which can be shared with her King. This Kingdom consists of her mind, her body, and her soul. She possesses the power to be decisive, savvy, sophisticated yet warm and welcoming.

She is fully in love with herself and she understands that she is untouchable. She knows that knowing who she is as a first steps to being more powerful. She practices self control, self-awareness, and self-worth despite her circumstances or environment. No matter what you were told by your family, your friends, or your peers, always remember that you are a Queen. Your mind is your kingdom and you must protect it at all costs. Cherish it as if your life depends on it. Allow it to flourish, allow others to follow in your footsteps.

You are not a Queen because someone approved of you. You are a Queen because despite the heartache, the betrayals, and the struggles you face, you get up every morning, put on your crown and face the world with your chin up.

I asked other women what their definition of Queen is and here are some of their answers:

--A Queen to me is someone in her power, embracing all that she is. Her strength and vulnerability. A Queen is someone who is empathetic and puts themselves in others shoes to be able to relate and help others through their struggles. A Queen is someone who doesn't conform to what others thinks of her but takes advisement from others because she knows that she does not know all. A Queen is someone who's always looking out for the greater good of others. A Queen is also a warrior fighting for justice for her people. She has grace and class and does not put herself above or below others.

--A Queen is someone who is intelligent and uses her intelligence to communicate and better serve and provides wisdom onto those who maybe struggling. A Queen is someone who shows the world that she too is not perfect and not without flaws

--As a little girl I wondered what it would be like to be a Queen. Being a Queen is knowing yourself and loving yourself, so that you can move through your life with confidence and a sense of purpose. Not by any means a perfect state, it requires a willingness to learn, a willingness to dialog and more important to listen, to change when needs be. To value others and their ideas, but to know which ones are true for herself. To carry with you, in your heart, what time has shown and taught you. To love and live tolerance. And to understand that timeworn is not careworn. Being loyal and true to yourself, loving yourself is the root of selflessness, not selfishness,

--Being a Queen is having enough life experience to truly know what I want, coupled with the motivation and ability to make it happen. Valuing myself enough to allow myself to expend time and resources on my own development. Realizing that doing these things will provide a role model for my 17-yr-old daughter as she enters adulthood.

--A Queen is one who has the ability to show no mercy but decides on mercy and giving of blessings even though I have the ability to curse and hold back on those blessings. A Queen must not look at things from only one point of view. She must be able to make judgment calls without malice. She must not think she is the most important. As a queen I realize that those who look up to me are far more important than they think they are. --A Queen rules her court with love, never fear. --A Queen believes in what she is doing without any doubt or fear. --I will be 47 this year. I have considered myself a Queen for many years. Queens know themselves completely, even the bad stuff. Queens are fully confident in their powers, boundaries, intuition, strengths, talents and feelings.

I just celebrated my 69th birthday on December 4th, so I guess I am a Queen!!! If being a Queen is part of your state-of-mind, then, Queen, I too, am definitely a Queen, and I hope to remain one for many years.

--Becoming the Queen of my own life has been the hardest thing I have ever done, and also the most rewarding. It seemed natural to love and honor my husband. It was easy to love and nurture my children. But it has been a struggle to come to love, honor and nurture myself. I am still working on it, and every day I feel more like a Queen.

What does being a Queen mean to you?

My journey from Princess to Queen didn’t start anywhere near easy. I've been bullied, beaten, broken, forgotten about, tossed aside. I've been talked about, spat on, lied to, underestimated. I've had thoughts that the world would be much better without me, felt like I wouldn't be missed, even attempted to end it all. I've chosen the thug over the good guy thinking “why would he want me”. I've searched for love in all the wrong places using my most precious parts . I've fell into depression, ate myself sick and questioned my existence numerous times. I've blocked out my friends because I didn't want to be a burden, said "fine" instead of "help me", labeled myself inadequately unworthy, failed, failed some more and failed again.

I've hit rock bottom, yet I’m still completely in love with my story.

I am not my past, I am not what others define me as and I damn sho' ain’t my mistakes. I am more than my circumstances, more than what meets the eye, MORE THAN ENOUGH. So many women think that their past is what defines them...we couldn't be more wrong. Our past PREPARES us to fulfill our purpose.

That's why I've created CROWNED. To help women and girls understand that YES are enough, YES it is okay to be unapologetically YOU, YES you can have everything they said you couldn't, and YES you do have a purpose that is bigger than you. There is a Queen on the inside of you begging to be freed.

In CROWNED, I share with you my journey of BELIEVING, EVOLVING, and BEING A QUEEN.

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